Sad but true...

Although i don't like to admit it, i think i don't like being alone. (see how i avoid saying it out straight - i cant stand being alone!?!)

The moment i stopped having best friends i started having boyfriends. I tend to jump in and out of relationships pretty fast, theres not that much in-between-single-time. Hate sitting alone at lunch break aswell, even if i don't have much to contribute the group conversation, i like to be there. Then I'm always wondering if i'm too clingy...I hate the feeling of losing good friends but love the feeling of being wanted.

I secretly act like i dont care if my blog is unpopular or if my posts go unread for months but i do.

Sad but true.

didn't think it would be this hard!

Track playing: Jimi Hendrix – Purple haze "...all in my brain..." ;-)
Time: 11.07pm…still need to fix the time/date settings on this blog…

I know I said I wouldn’t blog again till after exams, but phuck that, I felt like. Bite me!

Revision is going fine(ish), made a revision plan and all, but it’s been so freakin’ hard to stick to it! You dunno how much effort it takes for me to sit down and read/practice essays/make notes…it’s been a while…and to make it worse it’s like I have no motivation at all...

I guess it’s due to the uncertainty of my future after school…I’m just really confused over where I’m gonna go next…or what exactly I’m gonna do…or how to get there! Ugh! The thought is constantly gnawing at me. Especially during class…like where does all this lead to?

What I do know is that I want to do something that will nurture my creative side, something my business sense can cut into (remind me to tell y’all how I hustled 22grand today at school…all between lessons!), where I can work at home sometimes, where I can work with a small intimate team of professionals…and I want to make my own!!

Not feeling an employed-by-the-Man deep-in-the-system desk job. Was recently thinking along the lines of advertising? Like an Art director of an advertising firm (preferably mine-lol)…well it’s a start to this dream job I haven’t quite figured out yet.

The courses I'm looking at are profsional design in visual communication or media studies or something along those lines…I want hands on course.

Possible places are Malaysia, Japan, South Africa, Canada or the US of A…but still have time to figure that ish out.
First gotta pass those damn exams!

"...Lately things just dont seem the same

Actin funny, but I dont know why

excuse me while I kiss the sky

Purple haze all around

Dont know if Im comin up or down..."

less Internet < More Revison (in theory that is!)

My internet connection got canceled this week, and my mother isn’t around to pay for it so I’ve been forced to cut down on my internet time. I suppose it’s for the better since I have mock exams coming up next week that I am not as ready for as I should be! Now I can use the time I spend online doing revision…NOT!

The once habitual routine of revision has been increasingly challenging these days, and I often have to muster all the energy and will I have to do a single topic in a single subject! Its just so boring and irrelevant and too concentrated for my mind to absorb! My failing revision routine foretells an avoidable doom - avoidable only if I can concentrate on revision for more than 30 minutes! (Which has proven to be harder than first assumed) You can’t force yourself to read and revise if you’re not in the mood, even if you do, chances are that you won’t have learnt or remembered anything!
I seriously need to improve my revision methods! (I wish they offered the whole syllabus on DVD!)

Yesterday I was trying to convince a friend of mine to let me photocopy her revision notes, and she totally refused, her reason was that during GCSE’s (like two years ago!) I photocopied her notes and got an A in the finals yet she got a B.
Mbu I fed off her hard work!! This is not only untrue but inaccurate! She was in fact at a better advantage since she wrote the notes, than me who just read through them! No one fed off the other; we both had the same revision notes and sat the same exam! It was totally fair.
She’s just hating that I’m just smarter, and got a higher grade with less effort!

Well I’m not one to beg, so I dropped it, but I swear that if I do get a higher grade than her again this year, I will rub it in her face sooo bad, and make her accept that with or without her revision notes, I’m still smarter than her! Ha-ha-freakin-HA!
I guess this means I’ve got to really revise now…

P.S. I know its evil spirited and conceited but I hope she fails! Okay not fail, but doesn’t pass as highly…

Grrr
I take that back! incase it backfires and i end up failing for wishing she fails!
LoL