Rape me

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me again

am i the only one .IIIII [3x]
am i the Only one...

Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me, my friend

am i the only one .IIIII [3x]
am ithe Only one...


My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
I appreciate your concern
You're gonna stink and burn

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me, again

am i the only one ?, IIIII [3x]
am i the Only one?...

Rape me! (Rape me!)[8x]
Rape me!

One of my favorite Nirvana songs.

Been listening to them alot recently, its nice to listen to your old music, the CD's at the back of your CD case that you used to be at the front a few years ago. Somehow it doesn’t sound the same as it did, despite how many times you've listened to certain songs, it somehow always has new meaning, especially when you take a good long while before you listening to it again. (This only applies to good music though, and not blond wigged pop stars, they shall always be as shallow and cheesy every single time you listen to them.

Anyways, i've particularly been drawn to Rape Me of recent. Then, it used to be about virginity..."Am I the only one? i-i-i-i-i I'm i the only one?!" LoL! Now its about how manipulative those you call your friends are. I've suddenly realised how most people i call friends, arnt really friends. okay they are, but in the most shallow-est degree. Like Kurt Cobain at the time he wrote this, i've been feeling raped. Not just by those i call friends, but by life too. Some shit that has happened has left me feeling fucked, used abused and discarded.

Okay perhaps not as badly as it happened to Kurt but i can relate.

"Hate me, Do it and do it again, Waste me, Rape me, my friend"

Like Kurt i'm not pitying myself neither am i asking 4 pity, in a way i'm used to it. life is a bitch, she has her moments sometimes, but most time she just fucks with you! so what the hell, 'do it and do it again'.

I know that part about my favorite inside source is about how the media fucked him up, but to me it also means how the people closest to you are like 'an inside source' they are in a position to seriously expose you, they relish your vulnerability and insecurities "...kiss your open sores" and use those to really poke at you. those that are evil at least. and most people are, just to varying extents.

Perhaps i'm just in a really anti social mood, but it seems like everyone is a rapist...

some friend recently sent me a text like "I really want you, blah blah blah" and he ment it sexually, but thought it was funny or charming or sexy, i dunno. i felt so violated. wtf, sexually wanting me doesn’t mean shit to me! It might as well have been coming from a boda boda guy! I’ve totally re-evaluated our friendship, and he’s just another rapist.

Then yesterday, I was mingling with some guys, made an innocent enough comment about sex, and then this dude makes some loud comment about how i'm just “flaunting my 18-ness” and tryna act and get involved in adult things, said it in a really harsh way and i felt embarrassed. He was right I suppose, but I felt like he forcefully took a part of me (my so called“18-ness”) and exposed it. He didn’t have to do that.

(And now apparently i discover that limewire has created a hole in my firewall, for the whole wide web to fuck me through if they please! eish...thanx babis 4 lettin me know)

Perhaps I was asking for it..."Rape me"...like when women wear provocative sexually suggestive things and some guys use that to justify the rape.

Perhaps I’m just vulnerable at the moment.

Perhaps its this damn menstrual cycle!