And now a chaser of logic for my previous double shots of religion/spirituality....
Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Salvation (part 2)
One of my life mottos has been that I will try anything, at least once. This has consequently made my bucket list pretty damn long! But it has also provided me with opportunities to experience so many things that have undoubtedly scared as well as enlightened me.
I’m only 18. I’m not claiming to have ‘been there, done that, got the slovenlier T-shirt’, but the few years I’ve been alive have definitely been interesting…
Sticking to the motto, I thought I would give getting saved a try. I know most peoples reaction to ‘getting saved’ is a cringe they often (unsuccessfully) try to conceal. I was like that too, because we’ve all heard the stories of crazy jesus freaks and saved fanatics who went over the edge of sanity, we’ve heard of the pedophilic pastors molesting young boys, we’ve heard of the corruption and misuse of the church money, we’ve heard of (seen and know) the hypocrites who live sinful lives but still attend church every Sunday as well as those who are condemning and ‘holier than thou’ …its enough to make one lose faith in the church, Christianity, God even!
But I’ve tried drugs and other things often shunned upon by society, so getting saved wouldn’t be much different, considering what I’ve tried in the past!
Plus if religion is the opium of the masses, and reality is grim and stained, I would quite frankly prefer to be high and deluded off religion than sober and somber !!
There is a reason religion is likened to a drug. And I’m not just meaning Christianity. There’s just something so uplifting, peaceful, inspiring and mind blowing about it. I believe being high is a beautiful thing. So far, there are two ways I know how to get into this blissful slice of hevean. The first is drugs. The second is a spiritual relationship with God (who ever he is to you, to me the Christian God).
The only reason it would be more advisable to choose the latter not the first is: Drugs may take you to that level, but it doesn’t last, and the more you use, the father away you get from it…you start to having ‘bad trips’, and the biological/physiological/psychological/social side effects start to kick in, then it becomes hell! It’s all fake and illusion…But with God, it’s real, and can last forever. Although it does have its side effects too, just look up II timothy ch1 vs 8, II Corinthians ch1 vs 6, Romans Ch8 Vs 18 ( where did I get all this? The brilliant concordance at the back of the amplified bible, its like a mini biblical exycolpedia which refers you to relevant parts in the bible. I recommend it!)
I’m yet to reach a constant high in Christ…will let you know and compare if my hypothesis is right. (^_^) LoL
The whole experience of getting saved was pretty cool. Although it was at first a half conscience decision. LoL, actually what happened was that they told us to close our eyes and bow our heads…then raise your hand if your not saved. Being the smartass I was I didn’t, knowing that they were gonna call em up to get saved…then they asked those who had lost faith and basicly thought church was full of bull…I did…then they told us to stand up and come to the front. I thought about just seating my ass back down but since by now everyone was looking, I thought I would just go. I’ve never gone up to the front of the church (I have a permanent seat at the back row) so I thought it couldn’t get so bad. So I went.
Closed my eyes the whole time, because it would have been scarier to have them open. My heart was pounding and as I was listening to what was going on, a rise of mummers began to build. Everyone was I guess saying their own prayer to god (for us?) …no music or instruments, just voices…some dude was saying incoherent things near the front (tongues?)…the someone came to me, held my hands and prayed over me. He told me to focus only on his words…it all reached a passionate climax then slowly faded, the voices, the prayer…It felt pretty awesome. The only way I can describe it is as ‘an energy’. Like at a concert, just as the performer comes on stage…that build up mummer of voices…excitement…everyone’s attention and focus on one thing…a collective energy.
It was the first time I had ever felt something at church (apart from drooping eye lids, sleep induced from utter boredom and irritation at sitting for long hours in a crowded place – the reason I don’t go to church on big holidays like Christmas or Easter).
For the first time I felt something . The presence of God? My first dose (more like taste) of a spiritual high? Salvation?
I think I’m on to something…do u??
I’m only 18. I’m not claiming to have ‘been there, done that, got the slovenlier T-shirt’, but the few years I’ve been alive have definitely been interesting…
Sticking to the motto, I thought I would give getting saved a try. I know most peoples reaction to ‘getting saved’ is a cringe they often (unsuccessfully) try to conceal. I was like that too, because we’ve all heard the stories of crazy jesus freaks and saved fanatics who went over the edge of sanity, we’ve heard of the pedophilic pastors molesting young boys, we’ve heard of the corruption and misuse of the church money, we’ve heard of (seen and know) the hypocrites who live sinful lives but still attend church every Sunday as well as those who are condemning and ‘holier than thou’ …its enough to make one lose faith in the church, Christianity, God even!
But I’ve tried drugs and other things often shunned upon by society, so getting saved wouldn’t be much different, considering what I’ve tried in the past!
Plus if religion is the opium of the masses, and reality is grim and stained, I would quite frankly prefer to be high and deluded off religion than sober and somber !!
There is a reason religion is likened to a drug. And I’m not just meaning Christianity. There’s just something so uplifting, peaceful, inspiring and mind blowing about it. I believe being high is a beautiful thing. So far, there are two ways I know how to get into this blissful slice of hevean. The first is drugs. The second is a spiritual relationship with God (who ever he is to you, to me the Christian God).
The only reason it would be more advisable to choose the latter not the first is: Drugs may take you to that level, but it doesn’t last, and the more you use, the father away you get from it…you start to having ‘bad trips’, and the biological/physiological/psychological/social side effects start to kick in, then it becomes hell! It’s all fake and illusion…But with God, it’s real, and can last forever. Although it does have its side effects too, just look up II timothy ch1 vs 8, II Corinthians ch1 vs 6, Romans Ch8 Vs 18 ( where did I get all this? The brilliant concordance at the back of the amplified bible, its like a mini biblical exycolpedia which refers you to relevant parts in the bible. I recommend it!)
I’m yet to reach a constant high in Christ…will let you know and compare if my hypothesis is right. (^_^) LoL
The whole experience of getting saved was pretty cool. Although it was at first a half conscience decision. LoL, actually what happened was that they told us to close our eyes and bow our heads…then raise your hand if your not saved. Being the smartass I was I didn’t, knowing that they were gonna call em up to get saved…then they asked those who had lost faith and basicly thought church was full of bull…I did…then they told us to stand up and come to the front. I thought about just seating my ass back down but since by now everyone was looking, I thought I would just go. I’ve never gone up to the front of the church (I have a permanent seat at the back row) so I thought it couldn’t get so bad. So I went.
Closed my eyes the whole time, because it would have been scarier to have them open. My heart was pounding and as I was listening to what was going on, a rise of mummers began to build. Everyone was I guess saying their own prayer to god (for us?) …no music or instruments, just voices…some dude was saying incoherent things near the front (tongues?)…the someone came to me, held my hands and prayed over me. He told me to focus only on his words…it all reached a passionate climax then slowly faded, the voices, the prayer…It felt pretty awesome. The only way I can describe it is as ‘an energy’. Like at a concert, just as the performer comes on stage…that build up mummer of voices…excitement…everyone’s attention and focus on one thing…a collective energy.
It was the first time I had ever felt something at church (apart from drooping eye lids, sleep induced from utter boredom and irritation at sitting for long hours in a crowded place – the reason I don’t go to church on big holidays like Christmas or Easter).
For the first time I felt something . The presence of God? My first dose (more like taste) of a spiritual high? Salvation?
I think I’m on to something…do u??
Friday, July 31, 2009
Salvation (Part one)
It all started the day my notorious younger brother was caught sneaking back into the house, bloodshot eyes and sheepish grin, in the middle of the fuckin day!
The sheriff gave him an option at the show down, either they were to deal with this the easy way or hard way…luckily he wasn’t too doped up to decide to go down the hard way, and turned himself in. Hes sentence: regular attendance to church fellowships, and I was appointed the probation officer who had to make sure he actually attended these fellowships.
At times I didn’t know who the felony was, me or him? Because we both ended up having to attend church fellowships. No excuses…but I guess it was better than him being locked up, so I’m not complaining. But I was pretty pissed off having to sacrifice my Tuesday and Thursday evenings just to keep an eye on him. After all I wasn’t the one who was supposed to be serving the punishment!
You know how they say that good things can come out of bad things/situations sometimes. Well, I guess it applies to this particular situation, because it ended up being me who found salvation!!
The more I went for these fellowships, the more I started to gain out of them. Somethings they said really did strike me, and got me thinking about this whole religion thing. Hell, I felt like I was on to something , I even ended up inviting them! (yeah, maybe God can help clarify how to sort out my little love triangle mess) anyways, the more I attended, and listened and participated, the more I started asking myself whether I was missing out on something…
Currently I did feel like I was missing something. The prospect of going out and alcohol getting high and partying had started to pale…maybe my mum’s strict house rules and policy towards night life is starting to get to me…maybe its because every time I used to sneak out, and despite how long I would stay out, it just wasn’t ever really that much fun! (I mean if you take away the intoxication and hype…is whats left really fun?)…maybe its because the high never lasted, never is as sweet as it was, and left you with an empty douche bag feeling along with a throbbing head and nauseous feeling the next morning? Maybe I’ve gotten over the demand characteristics peer pressure and the media evoke in teens? Somehow that shit just doesn’t do it for me. Yesterday a friend was inviting me for a drink up at her crib (parents were out) and it was so possible for me to go, but I just didn’t want to. So I stayed home.
That’s not saying I now prefer to spend my weekend nights at home, in fact sometimes I would much rather be out having good old senseless, possibly-harmful, underage sinful fun! Its just easier to chose that. That’s just the way it is in the 21 century. And I’ve just been feeling like I have a choice between plain old nothing and nothing (which seems like something), and I’m tired of that…
I’m seeking something more…a new high perhaps? (LSD-lol?!)…GoD?? Maybe I need a new puppy!?
Theres one particular sermon someone was giving, about the power of belief. He asked us what would have happened if Jesus had jumped (that time the devil led him to the cliff and challenged him to jump, after all he was God’s son and there would have been angles to catch him). I had never thought of the significance of his not jumping. If he had…he would have fallen, and died. Son of God would have committed suicide and died a poor foolish man. No doubt. Its just like how whenever we call god out asking him to prove himself:
“GoD! Throw a thunderbolt or something, I dare you! Give me a sign you exist….*Nothing*….yeah, that’s what I thought!!”
(You know those moments!) nothing ever does happen. Why? Because God doesn’t need to prove himself to us mere mortals! He used to, back in the day, but even then, when people could see, hear, feel God, they still never got it, we would still doubt him, and still preferred to turn to man made idols. We still don’t get it even today!
How can something prove itself if you doubt it even exists? Doubt is powerful, its mentally crippling! If you don’t believe you can do something, chances are that you wont! Even if you can, and are capable of something, if you don’t believe you can, you wont! Its exactly the same way with God. If you doubt him, doubt his existence, doubt his power, he definitely wont be able to be present in your life, if you don’t let him. How do you expect to welcome someone into your house if you keep the door shut and locked? Then you sulk and claim that you have no friends, and no one ever comes to visit! LoL!
It all comes down to belief. Faith is the most stressed and emphasized thing in Christianity because faith is belief without doubt. Even the smallest bit of doubt can put great limitations on yourself…and God. And the devil knows this all too well....
He’s been using this since the beginning of time! The snake in the garden of Eden planted a seed of doubt in Eve’s mind…she began to question God. God had told Adam that he would provide all they ever needed, everything in the garden was theirs, they just had to stay away from the forbidden fruit. Apparently Eve wasn’t yet created when he told this to Adam. So she began to question if he even ever said it at all…she began to question whether they did really have it all, what God was keeping from them…suddenly the forbidden fruit which she had never even taken much notice of started to look tempting. See the power of doubt? It can change the way you look at things, turn your whole world upside down! And as Eve fell for the temptation and let the doubt get the best of her, so have many other people in the bible, even Jesus the son of God had to face the same temptation and doubt, we do so too, quite a lot these days!
The devil still uses the same old tricks, and we to often still fall for them!
This particular sermon really got me thinking (as you can obliviously see- scroll up). If all it takes is blind faith, all I have to do is believe it without a shimmer of doubt, and all of the things of the kingdom of God, eternal peace and enlightenment shall be at my finger tips…I thought why not!?
Its not like I’ve got anything of much worth going for me here on earth. I thought, if he is willing to take me as I am, the habitual sinner, indecisive, selfish, gullible little girl that I am, forgive me, love me unconditionally, bless me and let me grow, bloom, and flower…why shouldn’t I let him. Let go and Let God. Why not?...sound pretty fuckin’ awesome to me!!!
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