My Long awaited 18th Birthday is finally here!

I’m 18 today! Whoo hoo! Officially an adult! ...now what??

Still living under my mothers wing, got a good few years of school left, broker than ever, same height and weight, boobies still small and I haven’t had my big revelation yet.

I guess becoming an adult is a gradual thing. Not an over-night metamorphosis like those ‘when-I’m-18-I’ll…’ conversations lead you to believe.

But there is something different about this birthday compared to all the others I’ve had…my periods came like a whole week earlier, and I’m actually bleeding as I type…okay, it’s not as gory as I make it sound! I don’t even get bad cramps…it just feels weird!

I personally find my menstrual period an almost ceremonial event, it’s the shedding of the lining of the womb, a cleansing of sorts, since I am ‘sexually active’ it means I’m not pregnant so in a way it’s a shedding of the layers and burdens of womanhood. Since I’m not ready for these extra layers, aka motherhood, it comes as a relief, a confirmation of my carefree immaturity! And this kind of immaturity means sweet ignorant freedom! Free from the responsibilities of maturity. So I’m glad at the sight of this monthly blood.

It’s a part of the cycle of the creation of life, natures monthly maintenance of my womb, and it reminds me of my worth as a creator of life.

It’s a time to cry just cause you feel like, a time emotions run high and you can get away with being rude and bitchy and psychotically bi polar and just blame it on PMS! LoL!

So I find it strange that I happen to be in my periods during perhaps one of my most significant birthdays…could it be a symbolic initiation of sorts into womanhood? Adulthood?
Feels too coincidental to just be coincidence! It feels intended…but what does it mean??!
hmmmm....

On less bloodier things, here’s my birthday wishlist!

I probably won’t get anything on the list but I don’t really mind, they are mostly just material things…some probably manufactured in backdoor workshops by manipulated children and women forced into penniless labor by poverty, worse still the money spent on these material tings never reaches those that put most effort into making them, they instead end up in a fat mans pocket, and fuel the corrupted capitalist system, widening the gap between the rich and poor…after all to gain means someone is to lose, the balance of the rich and poor…but I would be lying if I said I did not want these things, and I know I’m not wrong to want them, who am I to disrupt the natural balance of things? Huh?

…but I am not in the mood to delve into deep things, so I’ll keep it shallow, put on my technicoloured tainted designer shades that distort the grey grim realities of life and birthday presents, just for a while, in order to enjoy this moment, and compile my birthday Wishlist:

- Lime green apple iPod (my bro smashed mine while skateboarding)
- Cute pair of beaded African sandals, the good quality ones that last!
- Books; ferienhite 101, the vagina monologues
- Movies; a Quentin Tarantino movie box set would be awesome
- Music CD’s; Santogold’s debut album, N.E.R.D’s seeing sounds, M.I.A
- A tattoo above my left ankle, I even have the sketch, will post it some time but its like a cross between the feminist female sign and Erykah Badu’s unk…
- Getting permanent dreads, completed with highlighted ends
- New sketchbook (the ones with textured thick card like paper) with art supplies, paint is expansive these days!
- New furniture for my room, especially a multi-purpose storage unit. Hell, I want one of those TV room makeovers with that gay dude on the style network, the dude who does style my nest…
- A new camera with professional lenses…always wanted to photograph the moon.
- Brand new camera music phone, preferably a Nokia
- A Puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Kitenge…yes I want a cool African dress, one I won’t look like a granny in! lol! They look so comfy…always wanted one
- New pair of glasses and contacts…there’s nothing wrong with mine, just for the sake of accessorizing!
- I wanna get high! Just one blessed fat blunt…a wicked spot and my exclusive circle of friends
- A weeks holiday at some virgin beach island resort…ahh
- Reconnection of my internet! Make that super fast reliable internet connection for the rest of the year!
- A million shilling shopping vouchers for clothes! I could do with tweaking my look a little bit…
- One of those cool world cup yellow-green-red-black footballs! It would be motivating to improve my soccer skills if I had a cool world cup ball…lol
- I want my trampoline cover fixed. I miss jumping up n down for hours in the garden on that thing…
- Full paid scholarship to any university anywhere in the world!! Would make my university choice so much simpler!
- Paid music lessons and music instrument…maybe I should complete what I started in my childhood…not piano again, but something brassy and jazzy…
- Paid tap dancing lessons and shoes and outfit! Lol! Sounds crazy, but I have always wanted to tap dance, I even know some basic moves and basic theory behind it!
- Freedom to go out till whatever time I please; and return in any condition without many accusing questions the next morning!
- A car (I’m currently learning how to drive, and my mum said since she’s ordered for a new car, immediately it arrives the rav4 she’s got now will be mine, but all this is still ‘in the pipeline’…hmmm)
- A pair of rollerblades…I miss skating, and skateboarding needs more muscle and effort than I’m willing to put in…
- An allowance of 400,000/= shillings a month…I know its probably more than most house help earn, but I swear I once knew a kid who had a similar allowance…for doing nothing! Sweet! That gives me 100,000/= a week…I currently don’t have any allowance! I get money when I convince my mother I need it for something worthwhile.

I think I’ve covered most of it, at least for the mean time. LoL.

But on the real, I’m glad to be alive and healthy, and that much older and wiser! I’m so grateful for what I have and the people who care about me in my life. Today I celebrate my continuous physical, spiritual and mental growth as an educated African sistah, my birthday wish if that my purpose in life becomes more clear to me this year…as my cipher keeps rolling on and on and on!

P.S. getting my drink and two step on this weekend! Yeayeah! (I also perform a poem of mine at the international school talent show held at my school this coming Saturday, I have an awesome performance planned which I will blog about when I get the time…but if u don’t have anything u gotta do that night y’all better show up and show some love!)