Done. What now??

Graduated on Friday!
Officially done with high school!! YaY!
Although I’ve been in the same bloody school since primary, (I’m certain this has had irreversible negative effects on my socio-psychological wellbeing, but I’m yet to figure out what exactly) I am grateful for having had the chance to finish basic schooling, especially in an international school. I was literally counting down the days to graduation, now that I’m done, I don’t really know how to feel...I thought it was gonna be happening, mad crazy fun times, yet on Thursday night, I felt depressed.

Not that I really enjoyed school, but it was a constant in my life. Now without class or exams, I don’t really know what to do with myself. To make it worse don’t really know where I’m going. I know by this point I should but I still don’t, and knowing that is further adding to my panic! I guess I’ve just had a lot on my mind. The biggest issue being:

University.
Ideal in theory, but in real life its damn complicated! I know what I want to do, a course in media art and design that takes the more practical side. Animation, film, an aspect of entrepreneurship, hopefully shall lead me to advertising.
Okay what then: Where? If I could go anyplace I would want to go to Chicago or California (Just because i've always wanted to go there, lol), but failed to find the course I want in the universities there. Also that mean I have to sit SAT’s and possibly TOFFEL, and I’m so done with tests, especially maths! Plus its bloody expensive, especially for my mum. With my back ground, I would qualify for UK, but I find it a depressing cold grey country, no offence, never imagined myself there.
Where do I see myself? South Africa perhaps, but they don’t have the sort of course I want to do, and theres that whole race issue. Plus for international students you have to pay like four times the amount than local students (in the UK for instance), also making it bloody expensive, especially for my single mum.

Its just a degree. Don’t want to run her broke, she still has my bro to put through school. Okay, you may argue that since she put us through an international school, she must have the money. But I discovered its not exactly the case. I noticed sometime back that we never got invoices for school fees…turns out my dad had signed a contract with the school and paid all school fee’s for my brother and I, till the last class. He’s dead now, so didn’t get a chance to see me graduate. But I owe him my 13/14 years of schooling, even if he died like 6 years ago.

So what now? Scholarships?
Not as easy as it sounds, rarely given out to international student, in the uk, its note even for the whole tuition fee, just a small percentage, and usually you apply in your second year. Plus I don’t want to go there anyways!

To make this worse, my mum is determined on Malaysia.
Malaysia is okay I guess, its just its reputation of accepting people with the worst grades and having very racist Asians especially to blacks that I’m not comfortable with. Also, it has a harsh drug policy. I act like that doesn’t bother me when people bring it up but it doesn’t sit nicely with me. I like my freedom. Want to be able to smoke if I wanna smoke. Not that I smoke. Just saying. And if it has such a bad reputation, whats the point of even studying abroad, if its not to raise ones prestige and increase chances of employment. Might as well study here! Oh, I here Malaysia has too many Ugandans. Not that that bothers me, its just that I don’t want to be automatically put in a group, just because I’m Ugandan, I must be in the Ugandan group.

I dunno, perhaps I’m too picky.
I have the A’s and B’s, even the well rounded resume/cv/personal statement but I guess that’s not enough.
I feel like I was lied too, all that talk on how important grades were was bullshit.
Its so much more complicated than just knowing what I want to be and studying for the grades.

At first I had wanted a gap year, but now I need to get out of the house as soon as possible!
I cant wait for jan intakes, I gotta go this year! And I think I think theres still hope, before i settle for malaysia (grimaces)...

Germany.
I know I don’t speak German (yet), but the offers for international students are really fair! International students pay the same fees as German students - approximately £850 a year. In the UK, they pay an average of £9,540 a year!! Almost quadruple the amount! WTF!
Also its funny but now I think about it, I know quite a number of Germans, and its always no question with them where to go for university.(BTW, why is it that most biracial people in Uganda are half German? Whats up with that?!)

So anyways, I’ve been asking a lot of questions and doing some research, and think I’m gonna try Germany…preferably somewhere cosmopolitan and nigger friendly, like Munich…anyone with any relevant info on studying in Germany, would be nice to hear what you gotta say! Especially on life there, the stuff they don’t tell you on the websites!
Also wondering whether I should aim for a university or art academy…after all I want a specific course that most traditional universities don’t offer (Visual communication/multimedia art and design- the more experimental and research based the better)…are the awarded certificates the same in the end?

wünschen mir Glück!
LoL
*Bless*