Monday, June 22, 2009

Rape me

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me again

am i the only one .IIIII [3x]
am i the Only one...

Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me, my friend

am i the only one .IIIII [3x]
am ithe Only one...


My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
I appreciate your concern
You're gonna stink and burn

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me, again

am i the only one ?, IIIII [3x]
am i the Only one?...

Rape me! (Rape me!)[8x]
Rape me!
One of my favorite Nirvana songs.

Been listening to them alot recently, its nice to listen to your old music, the CD's at the back of your CD case that you used to be at the front a few years ago. Somehow it doesn’t sound the same as it did, despite how many times you've listened to certain songs, it somehow always has new meaning, especially when you take a good long while before you listening to it again. (This only applies to good music though, and not blond wigged pop stars, they shall always be as shallow and cheesy every single time you listen to them.

Anyways, i've particularly been drawn to Rape Me of recent. Then, it used to be about virginity..."Am I the only one? i-i-i-i-i I'm i the only one?!" LoL! Now its about how manipulative those you call your friends are. I've suddenly realised how most people i call friends, arnt really friends. okay they are, but in the most shallow-est degree. Like Kurt Cobain at the time he wrote this, i've been feeling raped. Not just by those i call friends, but by life too. Some shit that has happened has left me feeling fucked, used abused and discarded.

Okay perhaps not as badly as it happened to Kurt but i can relate.

"Hate me, Do it and do it again, Waste me, Rape me, my friend"

Like Kurt i'm not pitying myself neither am i asking 4 pity, in a way i'm used to it. life is a bitch, she has her moments sometimes, but most time she just fucks with you! so what the hell, 'do it and do it again'.

I know that part about my favorite inside source is about how the media fucked him up, but to me it also means how the people closest to you are like 'an inside source' they are in a position to seriously expose you, they relish your vulnerability and insecurities "...kiss your open sores" and use those to really poke at you. those that are evil at least. and most people are, just to varying extents.

Perhaps i'm just in a really anti social mood, but it seems like everyone is a rapist...

some friend recently sent me a text like "I really want you, blah blah blah" and he ment it sexually, but thought it was funny or charming or sexy, i dunno. i felt so violated. wtf, sexually wanting me doesn’t mean shit to me! It might as well have been coming from a boda boda guy! I’ve totally re-evaluated our friendship, and he’s just another rapist.

Then yesterday, I was mingling with some guys, made an innocent enough comment about sex, and then this dude makes some loud comment about how i'm just “flaunting my 18-ness” and tryna act and get involved in adult things, said it in a really harsh way and i felt embarrassed. He was right I suppose, but I felt like he forcefully took a part of me (my so called“18-ness”) and exposed it. He didn’t have to do that.
(And now apparently i discover that limewire has created a hole in my firewall, for the whole wide web to fuck me through if they please! eish...thanx babis 4 lettin me know)

Perhaps I was asking for it..."Rape me"...like when women wear provocative sexually suggestive things and some guys use that to justify the rape.

Perhaps I’m just vulnerable at the moment.

Perhaps its this damn menstrual cycle!

16 comments:

philo-so-far said...

Yap! that "guy" didnt have to vent his sentiments out like that,noticed u getting uncomfy,sad couldnt defend openly defend u,but u know i gat ur back..
but am proud u expressed yourself,for that i award u the "Big balls" trophy..(clap!clap!)

eizzy.k said...

*Blush*

yz said...

Firstly, i don't get the socks. I thought if i did it i'd get it :P. Secondly, GOOD SONG! Thirdly, friends are human, unfortunately, subject to all our defining faults. Just do what you're doing, its what i'd do. By the way, being 18 is not a crime and it is not a valid foundation to judge anyone!

eizzy.k said...

@ Yz-LoL about the socks thing!!
yeah u r right i supose...no such thing as the 'cool-est most loyal-est best-est friend' is there, its like 'the one', or 'Mr.Right'...or 'Santa'.

P.S. waiting 4 that katogo! lol

normzo said...

Life just has a way of fucking us up....

kati now that guy must have messed up yo day.....

mbu 18nesss....just coz he was 18 and didnt know shit, doesnt mean u dont know stuff at 18.

Heaven! said...

have i been away this long?lurrve the header!
and i just discovered your poetry blog.niiiice!

you are very gifted!

i am hoping it's the menstrual cycle cos after that you will pretty much feel like yourself again!

Ugandan girl said...

omg Heaven you just realised she's good...Girl i think you have been away too long..

OK let me ask a question thats kinda not related ...Have you listened/watched chris rock's stand up's of late..?

eizzy.k said...

not of yet UG girl, y? are they good? hmmm...shall look em up, perhaps they'll cheer me up!

@ Heaven! - Me too...and thanx!

@ Normzo - Yeah...well i'm over it now!

Payo said...

Heard of 20 something retards? That guy was just one of them.
Its true life has a way of fucking us all up...we just pick ourselves up and do what we do best, KICK ASS.
lol i can say nothing on yo cycle thing coz clearly i'm under qualified there...

Princess said...

Whoa. You sound pretty miffed, as well you should be. That guy, however much older he is, had no right to patronise. Like they say, age is just a number. Being 18 shouldn't be an embarrassment--it just means you have all the more time to live and learn. Hell, so many people wanna be 18 again. So you enjoy it, flaunt it even. :)

*Now I feel old and ssenga-rish. :-) Sorry I've been away so long. I figured your posts would show up on the nodesix feed, and since they didn't I thought you hadn't written in a while. My bad. Let me go catch up on your blog.

James Tubman said...

that dude was a pisces too

jny23 said...

Hope yo back to yo good old self by now.
Good day.

eizzy.k said...

@ Tubeman, nah he's an Aquarius...

TY Tha Mos Magnificent said...

in the immortal words of a rapper- life's a bitch, then we die. that's why we puff la, cos we never know when its time to go

eizzy.k said...

@TY - "Life's a bitch and then we die, thats why we get high, b'cuz you never know when you gotta go"

-NaS

MBJMANO said...

I love that song- it gives me crackles- so i guess I never really thought of it in a somber manner... yeah life can rape you, but, ofcourse, being the realist I am... I tend to get over sh* like that cuz it just leaves you broken and paranoid and... raped. You should check out "Paranoid" by Dizzee Rascal on youtube, btw, you might relate.