Schools out at last!
This past week has been such a drag! Why is it that time slows down when you eagerly await something, so it seems like it’s taking forever! Well, its here, at last, and my holiday plan includes eating, sleeping, online marathons, watching tv, and going out to get stupid drunk…(I wish!!)
My Mums been possessed these days by some sort of spirit fascist dictator from another era who’s come back to fulfill his dominating fantasies. How can I tell? She’s drastically changed her parenting style to the very oppressive iron fist approach where she’s become supper strict about everything, and changes her mind so fast I’m convinced there is more than one person within in her . Which makes fully indulging myself in the activities mentioned above more difficult than they should be!
Just the other day, it was a Wednesday night I believe, she announced that she was confiscating my modem!! Her reason was that I was ‘addicted’ and she suspected that I was spending the whole all night on the internet when I should be asleep! She’s noticed I’ve been quite fatigued and she thinks that’s the reason, which is sooo (partly) not true!
I’ve been tired because school has been straining me, plus I’ve just recovered from a bad cough and cold, so yeah I have been feeling down, but not cause of the net! In fact most nights I’m too tired to be on it till past 1am! She then mentions that it might affect my grades. Total bullshit! I brought home a straight A report this term, like I always do! I got the modem around a month and a half ago, and if it was affecting my grades as she claims it is, I wouldn’t be getting straight A’s! But what hurts the most is that she doesn’t think I have enough discipline to say enough, let me give the net a rest. Even if I didn’t (which I do) know when to stop, “taking away” the modem won’t solve anything!
Firstly, do you know how pathetic it makes me feel when she says i'm 'addicted', like as if i have no self control and i'm so weak! I wonder if she really thinks of me like that? She has no idea the every day struggles i face and overcome daily!
Secondly, it’s the reason I decide to stay home Saturday nights instead of sneaking out to go party all night and sneak back in in the dark wee hours of the morning!
Thirdly and more seriously, I’ll be out of her iron fist grip in less than a year and when I am who’s gonna stop me? No One at all! So if I don’t learn these boundaries myself, I might end up doing really crazy stuff when I’m older and I will have to learn the hard way! She thinks she’s protecting me? She’s not, she’s making me more valuable to the outside world she’s so desperately trying to shield me from! She’s trying too hard, and when you try too hard to stop or prevent something, it so happens its more likely to happen! What you resist, persists after all! Life is ironic like that!
But she refuses to see my logic. I tried to compromise but in vain, that possession has gotten to her head! At least she’s at work most of the day and isn’t that creative with hiding places so at least I can steal the modem and get lost in the wide world web for a good few hours before they (my mother and the unsettled fascist dictator spirit that’s taken over her body and mind) come home again.