Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The song that has been playing in my head all freakin day!

If I had my way,
I'd never speak to anyone again
I gotta say, I hate people I'm so sick of them
I just can't stand the bullshit
I wishI was so far away from it
I'm just stupid and I'm angry
is it immature for me to say:

Fuck all you Motherfuckers
Fuck all you Motherfuckers
Fuck all you Motherfuckers
FUCK YOU! (x2)

eel so lame,
'cause that's the best I can do to express myself
It's always the same,
say the"F" word maybe that'll help
I'm so sick of trying to fit in,
I don't even know where to begin
I got friends but they don't know me,
but I'd tell the world to blow me

Fuck all you Motherfuckers

Fuck all you Motherfuckers
Fuck all you Motherfuckers
FUCK YOU! (x2)

And there's just one more thing that,
I have just got to sing ya
Everyone and everything


FUCK YOU!

***
Awesome song!
Band: Forces of evil
Song title: The angry anthem
One of those highlight songs in the soundtrack of my teenage life!

Monday, February 23, 2009

R.I.P Roxy...

Meet Roxy.
She's a half breed between an alsatian and bull dog, named after Roxy in the Musical Chicago (a favourite)...a sasy lady who killed her husband acted by Rene zellwegger.
Meet Roxy.
She died today.
It was pretty shocking, but I guess looking back she has been quite unwell.
Sad that I never really said farewell.
My brother had noticed she, Roxy, had not been herself. She’s been acting sluggish of recent, especially yesterday. She wouldn’t eat, and had extra foul doggy breath. He spent the whole day outside with her. We called the vet that night and he said he would come over the next morning. Today after school the house help announced that she had died.

I couldn’t believe it. We knew she was ill, but ill enough to pass away?! I was shocked.
At first I couldn’t bring myself to go see its corpse. I never have been able to see dead things.
Even when they brought my father’s coffin back home for the night the day he died. I couldn’t bring myself to look into the coffin. I was taken and I stood right next to it, bowed my head as if to be looking into the coffin but my eyes were closed. Not even a glimpse in the corner of my eye. My eyes remained tightly closed.

There’s something chilling about the emptiness of corpses, something cold and menacing. Especially if the eyes are still open. And the smell of death…it’s the most sickening smell! But my brother assured me she looked like she was just asleep. And she was, apart from the stiff way her legs jutted out. Or the unresponsive way her head swung and dragged on the floor when we lifted her out of the kennel. There’s just something so creepy about that, I know she was dead but I kept telling my brother to be careful with her …the corpse, like she could still feel it. I know it sounds stupid but it makes me really uneasy.

My first response was to file charges and Sue!! Of course I’ve never actually sued anyone, but I’m wondering, do I have a case?
We’d need the vet to prove it was the food that directly caused the death of my dog, which would be difficult since the corpse is already buried as I type this out. Also my mum says court cases are expensive and are a hustle she wasn’t willing to go through or finance…I don’t know of any Ugandan animal rights groups or a board I can appeal to that checks the quality of animal feed here. Neither do I know whether we have a member of parliament for animal rights I can write and appeal too. I won’t even bother calling the manufacturers of this shit ‘cause I know they wouldn’t give a damn, or be of any help. HELP?!

I feel that justice should be served, not just to Roxy but all the dogs that have suffered at the malicious hands of crooked opportunist fat bellied capitalists and manufacturers all in the name of consumerism. All in the name of cutting costs and maximizing profits!

So we decided to bury her today, we felt it was the right thing to do.
We dug out a pit, me, my brother and the house help even offered a helping hand. So we put her in, carefully, and covered her up.
The sky was a murky blue all evening, like dirty soapy water after washing with omo…a mirror image of the gloom that hung over the household that evening. Funny how whether tends to do that, reflected moodsmaybe it’s just us who project our moods unto the skies that reflect them back…
Turns out the sky wasn’t just a reflection of the gloomy feeling but was heavy with rain. After the rain, I felt much better. Standing out in the rain is so therapeutic. Especially tropical rain, with its swollen drops and rhythmic splash … I defiantly felt much better after the rain.

We carried out a mini funeral service.
We reminisced, we talked about death, we lit a candle, we engraved the tree she was buried nearby, we prayed, we were silent, we were grateful for life, we let it pass.
For death is a part of life.
We weren’t the only ones. My other dog, her brother, Bugsy (also named after a gangsta character in a musical called Bugsy Malone), seemed to be mourning too in his own way. Tell me you don’t see any emotion in his face?!
That’s why I think Animals, in fact all living things have souls. Its an vital part of life, I think…part of the reason science hasn’t discovered how to create life yet, its much complex than the physiological, its all to do with the spiritual. And you can feel it too. You can feel the presence of spirit, an aura of sorts that you can feel near trees, plants, animals…

Plus animals have personalities, if you have had any kind of pet(s) before you would surely agree with me. No Dog, cat, Fish, parrot, whatever has ever really been the same. Its more evident in dogs I think. They clearly show emotion, not human emotion but their kind of animal emotions. The fact that they recognize death, and even mourn the death of their own kind, supports this view! Its not just dogs, but elephants and primates do too!

I once had a conversation about where animals go when they die. Is there such a thing as an animal heaven, or is that a childish thought? we are all God’s creatures, he surely cares for the animals as he does for us, or does he?

Since the animals and plants were never kicked out the ‘Garden of Eden’, my theory is that they never left Eden. They still live there in mind.
Notice how animals lives are so carefree, no worries apart from survival, which the earth provides for them food shelter. no pressures like we humans face. We used to be that blissfully ignorant, in the ‘Garden of Eden’.
Unfortunately animals do struggle today, but that’s because we have encroached on their habitats and displaced them into a hostile world that has no place for them, forced them into domestication by breaking their wild spirits and bringing quite a number of them to near extinction.
Anyways, Eden has been described as heaven. As it is no longer physically on earth…its said to be in a spiritual realm of sorts. Some think its somewhere in the cosmos/“in the skies”, some think its in our minds, a state of being reached through meditation…
so lets assume animals are constantly in this state of mind, since they were never banished from Eden. What happens to their souls when they die?
Are they reborn into another form of life? Reincarnation sort of thing? Like re useable life energy that keeps the world turning or something…
Guess i'm yet to come up with a theory for that one...*Sigh*
1:28am - I swear i can hear all the dogs in the neighbourhood howling...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The curious phenomenon of alcoholism...

I met up with a friend recently, a friend I had been avoiding for sometime. But since I had sorted things out between me and him and him, I saw no harm in meeting up with him.

What could happen? Apart from some flirting which I could handle…Plus he insisted.

He wanted to come over at home, but I thought it would be better to go somewhere else where shit cant just happen (thanks to the scrutinizing eye of the public)...yet not too public, somewhere we can assume the 'anonymous-couple-talking-at-a-cafe' facade, (like the extras in the movies-lol).
Somewhere near home...

So he came home, and we took a walk down to Bill’s café.
It was a good chance to talk and catch up; although quite strange at first, since I have never actually seen him in the day time!
Usually we talk on the phone, or I see him at night when we're all out.
So I took a good look at him, and was shocked at what I saw:

He actually used to be kinda cute, or maybe it was the 'alcohol goggles' and the flashy night lights that make evrything seem so cool, or maybe because it was just dark...people look different at night even if there is light you know.

In the daytime however, he looked really messed up.

He’s eyes were all squinty and kind of swollen and looked dirty, like he had just woken up and hadn’t washed his face.
His skin was oily in a venomous way, like those slimy green and black Amazon frogs…looks cool on them, but mutant scary on humans!
He looked kind of burned in some areas too…'scorched' perhaps is a better word.
He was skinny and lanky, even more so than when I last saw him, and walked in a limp tired way, I could tell he was out of shape from the lil’walk we had to the café and back…

I dont know why i hadn't seen this before. Perhaps it was the stark sunlight that made his true form and colour naked to my eye. Perhaps I just hadn’t ever really taken a good look at him!

whatever it was, it made me realize that alcohol really is poison!, and with time its evident as it takes its toll on your body.

This dude has been parteyin and going out from 7pm tp 6am almost every other day of the week for like a year now, (still in his S6 leavers vac which started at the end of 2007!)
Fastforward to now, he's still doing what he was doing a year ago; borrowing money from his parents, going out drinking, crashing in the day time, with a few errands his mother forces him to do inbetween. No studies no job, his guitar got broken sometime last year so he's been doing nothing constructive for the past year!
2008 must have been one big alcohol stained year for him.

Hope he doesn’t turn out to be like those guys in their late 20’s/early 30’s and are still living like they are 20 and just finished school. Cause thats just sad.

I mean it would be a shame if I started university before him! He’s like 3years older than me yet sometimes he acts like 3 years yonger than me.

I told him of course what a mess he was, and he should really sort out some things in his life. Though I’m sure that’s a song he’s heard way too often. Just hopes he listens to the lyrics this time.

On another note, I went out last night for a friends 18th birthday bash- legally (this time) with parents consent and all, and had a (sober) blast!
Despite the majority of people who were on the balcony puffing away on tobacco and other smokeable dry plants, and those ordering more potent drinks than the innocent sprite I was sipping, I managed to have fun and resist the temptation and danced like my feet were on fire! all without being intoxicated!

I guess I couldn’t shake off the scorched-toady-face of my friend, i kept imaging seeing him at the bottom of every glass of alcohol passed my way...

But the human mind is strange.
I’m sure a few weeks down the road I’ll find myself doin the two step with a drink in my hand.

How is it that we can genuinely want a healthy and alcohol free diet and drink ourselves silly or gobble down a cholesterol choke full serving of food without thinking twice.
Know how bad something is for our well being, but indulge in it freely and regularly.

What’s up with that?!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Random Blah: the cure to flu & hilarious adverts

I managed to get over a flu that was threatening to take me under in just one day!
How? Heres my lazy girls guide to curing flu in the first few days you feel ill:

1) Drinking loads of fluids, juice, tea, water, you name it. Sure you piss like a horse but it really does work.
2) Rest does miracles! I skipped a whole day of school just to “rest” .In other words sleep in and chat all day, but it worked. Gave my body time and strength (that would have otherwise been used to just get through the day) to fight off the virus.
3) Blow your nose, don’t sniff it back in! cough, spit , do whatever you have to do to get that flem out! Your body is trying to get it out for a reason! Don’t let it build up…this is where the staying home part is necessary, because it can be embarrassing doing this in public!
4) Lozenges don’t really do much apart from relief…but they make a difference, so I advise that you stock up!

Anyways, on my sick day off, I was browsing through some blogs and discovered this hilarious post about how its national condom week in the states, it was paying tribute to what they considered awesome condom adverts, and I’d have to agree, check it out:



So I end up on YouTube, (the source of the video, in search of more funny condom commercials) and found this hilarious composition of adverts that for some reason or the other were never broadcasted. (You soon see why!).
They range from beer to phone services, and are quite funny.
Some are even brilliant!
I recommend you watch it!
My favorites are:
-the lady in the bus whom everyone is staring/waving at, because of the billboard on the bus, though she comes off thinking it was her attracting the attention!
- the beer one! Lol! Beer goggles! (personal fav)
- the one about how calls are meant 2 be private! Lol
- the one about energy efficient light bulbs, with the farting lamps.
- the ‘exciting’ camera one…

Some were just stupid though!



this is one of the reasons i'm considering advertisement as a possible career option! it looks fun!!
i could come up with these!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentines blah /African Heroines continued...

Valentine’s day has never touched me.
its too commercialized for any sentiment, too much hype it drowned out the genuineness for me.
I believe that love should be expressed everyday, every moment you feel it. On valentines too many people are pressured to show their love in the most lavish of ways. That’s so fake.

Anyways, since today’s theme is love, I guess it makes most sense to blog about it today. If i dont, it'll bug me!!

Love.
I don’t understand how the English language has only one word to describe a feeling so diverse as love. There is romantic love, brotherly love, and unconditional love. The most complex yet widely sought after being romantic, and the most precious yet unappreciated and abused is the unconditional one.

I love partying but I decided not to go out (wait, I’m not even aloud out, I usually sneak out! Lol!…what I mean is I decided to obey my mothers house rules). Why? Because I love my mother and since she been going through some difficult times, especially with my brother and her sisters, and work, I thought I wouldn’t add unto her problems…I think I did the right thing, even though I’m feeling shitty at the moment. Especially when this fine brotha called me asking where I was and that everyone was out (I heard them too, he wasn’t hyping), I almost decided to jump that very moment get on the 1st boda I saw, picked up a bottle of sum-something and…ahhh! Whoever said doing the right thing felt good lied. Sin sooo blissfully feels goood!!
I guess this kinda love takes sacrifice.

I love my boyfriend, but I don’t feel as inclined as to tell him every time we talk, because I don’t feel like I love him all the time. But on the whole I do, you know? I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been with someone for as long as we have (10 months). I sometimes feel like ending it, its not like we are getting married. But ending it may cause some hard feelings, which I want to avoid. I miss the excitement of the single dating game!!! I know it sounds shallow but damn, give me a break, I’m young and supposed to be having fun! This kinda love is complex, it changes. That’s why I think its an illusion, often begins with selfish interests and intentions, and hard to maintain…though it can sometimes lead to beautiful things!

I love my brother. more than anyone else in this world. But he hurts me sometimes, its only human though. He’s been sick so I spent the day with him, now I think I’m feeling sick, coming down with a cold too…*sniff*sniff*...

So I’m spending valentines at home, alone. My boyfriend is away at uni, my friends are all out having a freaking great time without me, even the neighbors are having a house party…me? I’m in bed. Sitting semi dressed (its damn hot out tonight!) in the warm glow a few scented candles (why not? They’re not just for decoration), and a hankie *sniff*sniff*, listening to my Badu and other soul sistahs…loving myself.
Okay, that sounds wrong!

Happy (or not so happy) or just plain boring (like me) valentines day!

***

Continuing on the african heroine series for black history month, presenting:
the warrior queen!

Queen Amina of Zaria
1533-1610
Nigeria




















Amina was the warrior queen of Zazzau (now Zaria).
She expanded the territory of the hausa people to thier largest borders in history. She is credited with popularising the earthen city wall fortications, which became characteristic of Hausa city-states.
It is common belisf that Amina died during a military campaign at Atagara a military campaign at Ataggara near Bida in Nigeria.

No Panties!!



Eizzy dont wear no panties either!!
lol, this song made my day, so i thought i would share it with yall...

peace

Monday, February 9, 2009

Black History Month this Febuary

It’s black history month this February. I know that’s an American thing, and I’m not American (Uganda Oye!!), but I feel inclusive of the term 'black'. And I am a history student, who happens to feel strongly about my people.

I also believe that we are not that much different in terms of the issues we face in societies. Whether African American or simply African, we face similar issues in this modern age, such as idolizing westernized beauty (we choose the weaves and hair straightening chemicals instead of our naturally luscious kinky hair), domestic violence, mis-education, ‘tribalism’/gang culture, gold diggin’ women (these ‘go getters’ with sugar daddies) just to name a few.

Its not just us either, our parents used to be influenced by American and westernized culture too. I don’t know about you but my old man had a collection of cowboy hats that he cherished due to those old western movies they used to watch back in the village.

So you know what? Black people are black people everywhere. In Africa, in Europe, in the states, and we face similar problems and challenges.
So why not adopt Black history month and celebrate and learn more about our people too.

As an urban feminist black African female, the topic I’ve chosen to blog about every so often this month is African heroines.
in no particular order of importance or date; just a weekly supplement for all my strong African women, and people too.

Presenting:

Wangu Wa Makeri
1900
Kenyan.














She was the first and only female ‘headman’ during the entire colonial period in an area modern day Murang’a.
She was born in the second half of the 19th century into a traditional kikuyu society.
She proved to be a very powerful and authoritarian ruler and was widely supported by the female population.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sundays

Written last Sunday:

So I got bored today. After an extremely busy weekend/last four days, doing nothing the very next day is…strange.

I know, one would expect it to be a relief, but I guess I had gotten used to it.
It was like drinking one of those heart pounding intoxicating yet non-alcoholic soft drinks, then crashing after a speed race like day.

Like most days, I wake up having a mental list of things I have to do, however I forgot them after the next 20 minutes of extra sleep. Perhaps it was the idleness, the nagging conscious of work to be done, the fatigue, the unsolved shadows on the walls of the mind, the mounting exam pressure.
I don’t know what it was.
But today of all Sundays I just wanted to get high.

The opportunity was an open door I couldn’t close: an empty house, a free tomorrow morning I could do the more urgent work, a person who was willing to share the stash…
Like most Sunday afternoons, I was listening to radio. The best music is played on Sundays in my opinion, at the time the ‘Soul Survivor’ show was on was playing, and I had a few soul albums I could continue the evening with. It was so hilarious when I began really listening and analyzing what the radio show host “the Reverend of soul” and his special guest speaker from America were talking about.
For instance what the radio host and guest speaker were saying was not connecting, which hinted that they couldn’t understand each other. The American and African.

The host is also such a faker! Okay he has a nice deep radio voice but his accent is fake, like those you hear on hot 100, they make you grind your teeth just listening to them! Also when his guest would mention a song they loved, the host would claim he had it, and when he was asked to play it, he put on another song, apologized for playing the wrong song, and then completely brushed off the topic. I listened to the rest of the show waiting for him to play the track…lol. He so didn’t have it. He shouldn’t have lied about it either.

Then the reggae show started after with the host “Mystery” another fake radio presenters. Are there any real radio presenters out there anymore?( Apart from Fatboy!)
Anyway on this show, I realized that the people who always call the show are the same! At one point the host greeted a caller by their name before they even said anything! How did he know that?! Furthermore, the supposedly ignorant tone the host used didn’t help mask the tone of familiarity the callers had.

Another thing I would crack up at was the Rastafarians that would call. There’s one particular dude, who requested for the ganja planter song. However he refused to say his name, calling himself ‘Ras anonymous’. When the host questioned why he refused to give his name he said ‘Babylon was on his tale’!

Unlike every Sunday, I laughed my head off listening to the radio.
Damn…I have to do this again.

Written this Sunday:

Well, i didn’t get high again.
I guess those Sundays come once in a blue moon.
But seriously, this time round i choose not to. I don’t need to get high to enjoy a boring Sunday at home. at least that’s what i keep telling myself. We all practice a little escapism, it’s just that some methods are safer and smarter than others...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Re-cap of the week

What a strange past week it has been for me! A lot has been going on in my life and with no one I can really talk to, or time to lavishly spend on blogging whenever I feel like, I’ve decided to have a bit of a rant once in a while. Just let it all out, in no particular order. Self therapy at its best! Each of the following colud be a blog entry of its own, hence the sub titles…lol.

1) I just never learn when it comes to retards! >>I had an odd visitor today, out of the blue kind of thing! Some one came to call me claiming some unknown dude was looking for me. I go to the window and don’t recognize the mysterious figure at the gate, and he didn’t look interesting mysterious, he looks like Go Away I don’t Know or want to know you mysterious. Anyways I went checked who it was. It turned out to be an “OB” (as he called himself) named Ceazer. He used to be in my class in year 9/senior 4. He was mentally disabled and I was one of the few people who treated him like a normal guy. I was nice. So apparently he had moved into the neighborhood and heard I lived here so he came to visit. Why me? Baba (another “OB”) lives just up the hill but noooo, he chose me!
I always have this problem with mentally disabled people. I’m nice to them, unlike everybody else, and as a result the end up “falling in love” with me or I become their “best-est friend”! Do you know what that can do to your reputation? Especially in the merciless-trivial-gossip-riddled-superficial social circles of high school! Plus I never felt like I was friends with these people, I just pitied them so I was nice (It’s just easier for me to be nice than cruel). Well now I know why people are never that nice to mentally retarded people…Luckily I pretended I wasn’t me and said I would pass on the message to ‘her’. Next time he comes around I’d have ‘moved houses’ or ‘gone to boarding school’. Hey, what’s a girl to do??

2) Kill Me Quick>> My delve into African literature continues! I borrowed another book today; a novel this time by Meja Mwangi (Kenyan guy) called ‘Kill Me Quick’. The opened the book and was immediately asserted with this:
Days run out for me,
Life goes from bad to worse
I was already hooked! This frank simple yet striking use of language and tone carries through in the rest of the novel, at least the first two chapters I have read, and I love it. Such modern African literature is very refreshing to me, as I am used to old British novels and plays one is forced to study in Literature at school. Somebody should change those books on the syllabus already, eish!! Anyways this tiny book (its only 151 pages and is like a small notebook) seems to have some good reading in store for me. I think I will have to start a regular book review soon…

3) Hazy left eye>> The left lens of my glasses keeps popping out! This first happened today when I sneezed. I opened my eyes and my vision was distorted in one eye, I thought there for a split second I had sneezed my left eye out! LoL, apparently this is possible, if you sneeze with your eyes open…lol. Anyways I seriously need to get them fixed. Properly. I just wonder how the screw became loose in the first place though…I guess it just shows everything is always constantly moving. I call it the rhythm of earth, of life, inanimate objects are forced to vibrate a little too…You cant fight the beat baby! LoL

4) Creepy coincident>> Yesterday was my late Aunts birthday, she died of liver cancer or some other alcohol abuse associated complication. She was the black sheep of the family on my mums side. It happened to be on this day that my brother was caught high off weed at home. He’s the new black sheep of the family, according to my mother. This wasn’t the first time its happened though, but it was as emotionally stressing on all of us. My mother was in tears, My aunt giving threatening suggestions of sending my brother ‘away’ and me frustrated and on the verge of tears at the thought of them sending my only beloved blood brother away! The lingering awareness of my late tragic aunt made the situation that more grave. But these things always happen in my family. My dad for instance died on my uncles birthday, an uncle who has also come close to death due to alcohol abuse. There’s a traceable pattern of the presence of death on birthdays. Like its almost cautioning those with reckless lives…I wonder what creepy coincident will happen on one of my birthdays…

5) I was meant to ride solo, they just bring me down!>> I hate doing group assignments these days at school! I tend to get stuck with the group of unserious students who couldn’t care less about the assignment or are easily distracted from the task at hand or are just in efficient which totally hinders the key strengths of group work! Its frustrating to be stuck in such groups! I cant be bothered to motivate them either because i wasn’t elected group leader, no one was. At this stage we should all be mature enough to function as a group, together. I used to end up doing the whole project myself, however now I just don’t give a shit! I do my own thing...could the problem be with me??

6) School Sucks>> I’m still totally unmotivated to revise and do work! I don’t know what it is, but I need to get back on track…exams arnt that far off. I hear the mock time table is out, haven’t seen it yet but I hope when I do it instills good-old-fashioned-work-ethic-based-on-the-fear-of-failure. I need something to give me a push…anything!

7) Still at the crossroads of life>> I’ve been thinking about m future this week, and I’m still confused on what exactly I want to do. But at least I have a plan for 2009/10. I’m basicly planning to go to Malaysia and do an art foundation degree. Why?

· I’m tired of books and traditional academics. A year drawing and painting sounds pretty damn good to me!
· I will meet a lot of fellow Ugandans there. This is key because I fear coming back from university and not having any friends here. I don’t want to to be out of touch. Most of my high school friends will be all over the world (disadvantage of being in an international school) and It would be awkward trying to make friends when I’m out of university, I mean most life friends are made in university, and they are the constant and realizable friends in ones adult life. Where would I even start? A bar? At work? Chat up strangers at Nandos? Aha I think not…
· Its cheap. I don’t want to break my over worked single mother paying tuition for me in the UK where they charge international students quadruple the amount UK citizens pay to go to university. Its not fair. I’d rather go to university in Africa…
· Its warm and has beautiful coast. This appeals greatly to the tropical girl I am!
· It’s a good way to buy time and really think over what I want to pursue as a career, but without having to be idle. I also get to create a professional portfolio, which gives me opportunities to further study art if the wind blows me in that direction.

8) Mrs. Lonely>> I feel so lonely these days hence the long detailed disjointed blog entry today! Since there is no one really to listen to me rant and rave and procrastinate, apart from my blog. I can’t talk to my boyfriend because we are in such different states of mind, conditions/situations, as well as locations, he wouldn’t get what I was talking about. I’ve tried, it ended up just being frustrating. More signs of the breakdown of communication between us, a red warning light in relationships. I cant talk to my family, there are dealing with enough issues as it is. I cant talk to my school friends, I just get the feeling that they don’t give a damn. You know, they type you can just have fun with, but not really bond with. I cant talk to my online buddies due to the simple fact that the ones I enjoy chatting to are never online when I am. Bad timing I guess. I cant talk to other friends eg. HIM, because he has hidden motives. I know he wants me, so I have to be careful what I say to him because such personal information can be dangerous in the hands of the wrong person…so I turn to you. Just wish you could talk back sometimes… *Sad smile*

9) UGH MTN!!! >> My MTN mobile internet is driving me up the wall! The connection is ever crashing, and chronically slow, especially when I need it most. Technology is a bitch!

10) Blazed Sunday>> I got high last Sunday afternoon. I know, I’m slipping…I wrote a funny blog entry though that evening, I didn’t manage to post it though…go figure! Hahahahigh! Will post it this Sunday…Just for laughs…

Monday, February 2, 2009

couldn't get off the sinking ship...

Well I couldn’t let the ship sink.
Because he was on it,
And he wouldn’t jump off,
Despite the flashing red ringing alarm bell:
'Abandon ship, leave behind this shit!
Save yourself or die, because this ship is going down,
I repeat abandon ship!'
But he never jumped.
I couldn’t either;
because I had promised myself that I wouldn’t again,
Not until another year had passed...
“I guess everyone has their price”
Their limit.
Their breakeven point.
That silver-slick-jaded-broken-piece of an ice berg
Floating, half submerged, somewhere
In the ocean;
The wide ocean of being.