R.I.P Roxy...

Meet Roxy.

She's a half breed between an alsatian and bull dog, named after Roxy in the Musical Chicago (a favourite)...a sasy lady who killed her husband acted by Rene zellwegger.

Meet Roxy.

She died today.
It was pretty shocking, but I guess looking back she has been quite unwell.
Sad that I never really said farewell.

My brother had noticed she, Roxy, had not been herself. She’s been acting sluggish of recent, especially yesterday. She wouldn’t eat, and had extra foul doggy breath. He spent the whole day outside with her. We called the vet that night and he said he would come over the next morning. Today after school the house help announced that she had died.

I couldn’t believe it. We knew she was ill, but ill enough to pass away?! I was shocked.

At first I couldn’t bring myself to go see its corpse. I never have been able to see dead things.
Even when they brought my father’s coffin back home for the night the day he died. I couldn’t bring myself to look into the coffin. I was taken and I stood right next to it, bowed my head as if to be looking into the coffin but my eyes were closed. Not even a glimpse in the corner of my eye. My eyes remained tightly closed.

There’s something chilling about the emptiness of corpses, something cold and menacing. Especially if the eyes are still open. And the smell of death…it’s the most sickening smell! But my brother assured me she looked like she was just asleep. And she was, apart from the stiff way her legs jutted out. Or the unresponsive way her head swung and dragged on the floor when we lifted her out of the kennel. There’s just something so creepy about that, I know she was dead but I kept telling my brother to be careful with her …the corpse, like she could still feel it. I know it sounds stupid but it makes me really uneasy.

My first response was to file charges and Sue!! Of course I’ve never actually sued anyone, but I’m wondering, do I have a case?
We’d need the vet to prove it was the food that directly caused the death of my dog, which would be difficult since the corpse is already buried as I type this out. Also my mum says court cases are expensive and are a hustle she wasn’t willing to go through or finance…I don’t know of any Ugandan animal rights groups or a board I can appeal to that checks the quality of animal feed here. Neither do I know whether we have a member of parliament for animal rights I can write and appeal too. I won’t even bother calling the manufacturers of this shit ‘cause I know they wouldn’t give a damn, or be of any help. HELP?!

I feel that justice should be served, not just to Roxy but all the dogs that have suffered at the malicious hands of crooked opportunist fat bellied capitalists and manufacturers all in the name of consumerism. All in the name of cutting costs and maximizing profits!

So we decided to bury her today, we felt it was the right thing to do.

We dug out a pit, me, my brother and the house help even offered a helping hand. So we put her in, carefully, and covered her up.

The sky was a murky blue all evening, like dirty soapy water after washing with omo…a mirror image of the gloom that hung over the household that evening. Funny how whether tends to do that, reflected moods…maybe it’s just us who project our moods unto the skies that reflect them back…

Turns out the sky wasn’t just a reflection of the gloomy feeling but was heavy with rain. After the rain, I felt much better. Standing out in the rain is so therapeutic. Especially tropical rain, with its swollen drops and rhythmic splash … I defiantly felt much better after the rain.

We carried out a mini funeral service.
We reminisced, we talked about death, we lit a candle, we engraved the tree she was buried nearby, we prayed, we were silent, we were grateful for life, we let it pass.
For death is a part of life.
We weren’t the only ones. My other dog, her brother, Bugsy (also named after a gangsta character in a musical called Bugsy Malone), seemed to be mourning too in his own way. Tell me you don’t see any emotion in his face?!

That’s why I think Animals, in fact all living things have souls. Its an vital part of life, I think…part of the reason science hasn’t discovered how to create life yet, its much complex than the physiological, its all to do with the spiritual. And you can feel it too. You can feel the presence of spirit, an aura of sorts that you can feel near trees, plants, animals…

Plus animals have personalities, if you have had any kind of pet(s) before you would surely agree with me. No Dog, cat, Fish, parrot, whatever has ever really been the same. Its more evident in dogs I think. They clearly show emotion, not human emotion but their kind of animal emotions. The fact that they recognize death, and even mourn the death of their own kind, supports this view! Its not just dogs, but elephants and primates do too!

I once had a conversation about where animals go when they die. Is there such a thing as an animal heaven, or is that a childish thought? we are all God’s creatures, he surely cares for the animals as he does for us, or does he?

Since the animals and plants were never kicked out the ‘Garden of Eden’, my theory is that they never left Eden. They still live there in mind.

Notice how animals lives are so carefree, no worries apart from survival, which the earth provides for them food shelter. no pressures like we humans face. We used to be that blissfully ignorant, in the ‘Garden of Eden’.

Unfortunately animals do struggle today, but that’s because we have encroached on their habitats and displaced them into a hostile world that has no place for them, forced them into domestication by breaking their wild spirits and bringing quite a number of them to near extinction.

Anyways, Eden has been described as heaven. As it is no longer physically on earth…its said to be in a spiritual realm of sorts. Some think its somewhere in the cosmos/“in the skies”, some think its in our minds, a state of being reached through meditation…

so lets assume animals are constantly in this state of mind, since they were never banished from Eden. What happens to their souls when they die?
Are they reborn into another form of life? Reincarnation sort of thing? Like re useable life energy that keeps the world turning or something…

Guess i'm yet to come up with a theory for that one...*Sigh*

1:28am - I swear i can hear all the dogs in the neighbourhood howling...