It was pretty shocking, but I guess looking back she has been quite unwell.
Sad that I never really said farewell.
Even when they brought my father’s coffin back home for the night the day he died. I couldn’t bring myself to look into the coffin. I was taken and I stood right next to it, bowed my head as if to be looking into the coffin but my eyes were closed. Not even a glimpse in the corner of my eye. My eyes remained tightly closed.
There’s something chilling about the emptiness of corpses, something cold and menacing. Especially if the eyes are still open. And the smell of death…it’s the most sickening smell! But my brother assured me she looked like she was just asleep. And she was, apart from the stiff way her legs jutted out. Or the unresponsive way her head swung and dragged on the floor when we lifted her out of the kennel. There’s just something so creepy about that, I know she was dead but I kept telling my brother to be careful with her …the corpse, like she could still feel it. I know it sounds stupid but it makes me really uneasy.
My first response was to file charges and Sue!! Of course I’ve never actually sued anyone, but I’m wondering, do I have a case?
We’d need the vet to prove it was the food that directly caused the death of my dog, which would be difficult since the corpse is already buried as I type this out. Also my mum says court cases are expensive and are a hustle she wasn’t willing to go through or finance…I don’t know of any Ugandan animal rights groups or a board I can appeal to that checks the quality of animal feed here. Neither do I know whether we have a member of parliament for animal rights I can write and appeal too. I won’t even bother calling the manufacturers of this shit ‘cause I know they wouldn’t give a damn, or be of any help. HELP?!
We carried out a mini funeral service.
We reminisced, we talked about death, we lit a candle, we engraved the tree she was buried nearby, we prayed, we were silent, we were grateful for life, we let it pass.
For death is a part of life.
We weren’t the only ones. My other dog, her brother, Bugsy (also named after a gangsta character in a musical called Bugsy Malone), seemed to be mourning too in his own way. Tell me you don’t see any emotion in his face?!
I once had a conversation about where animals go when they die. Is there such a thing as an animal heaven, or is that a childish thought? we are all God’s creatures, he surely cares for the animals as he does for us, or does he?
Since the animals and plants were never kicked out the ‘Garden of Eden’, my theory is that they never left Eden. They still live there in mind.
Are they reborn into another form of life? Reincarnation sort of thing? Like re useable life energy that keeps the world turning or something…