I dont cry...

...But i did yesterday.
My brother was checked in at Serenity Centre (A rehab for alcoholics and drug users) for 6 bloody months! and he's only 15.
What hurt me most, was leaving him there, at some strange house with strange people locked up, all alone. my heart broke as we were led out the door and they locked up, looking back through the bars at my baby brother standing alone, half concealed by shadows, watching us leave him...
Honestly, I didnt think it was necessary for us to check him in! He's gonna miss sitting his exams and will have to re-do the whole year, everyone is now gonna put this lable on him, a junkie, a drug addict and he wont ever be treated the same by our family, friends, school...if life was hard for him before, it will be harder for him now. And it was just weed, everyone hgoes through that stage, was it really such a big deal...i honestly dont know...
My mum thinks so. she couldnt handle it, she works too hard to maintain a good enough life for us, too hard she hardly has time to parent us, but its okay, cause we're older now, and she needs us to grow up fast. i dont blame her, even if people say she's responsible for our upbringing. shes done the best she can, and when she broke down in the car in front of us (The only time i've seen her cry like that was when my father died), i knew it was too much for her to deal with right now. she couldnt bring him home...

maybe i should start from the beginning.
yesterday, my brother went missing, actually, before that, he had told me he was going to a friends house to ask about a skateboard ramp (we had made and was being fixed up) since it was near by, i let him go. I know for a fact its a 5 to 10 minute walk at max for a fact, so i called him up around 30 minutes later and he had apparently just reached...fishy. i thought to myself, and asked his friend if he looked like he had been smoking, he said no...later on in the day, i had gone to meet my boyfriend, but had left my bro at a cousins house...a few minutes later my mum calls and she's asking where he is, because hes not at my cousins house or home and his phone is off. so we go looking for him, we go to all the possible places he could be, his friends house, internet cafes, home etc, and no one has seen him, so my mum keeps driving around...some guy says he's seen him on the road a few minutes ago, we keep driving back and forth till i spot him with a dazed expression on his face, and my mum pulls up the car.

he had been smoking weed, and first told us some bullshit stories untill he finally gave up the act, because we both knew. at first my mum was angry as hell, went to the police, she wanted to have whoever had done this to her son arrested! thing is, they couldnt do much because its not like its one person responsible, its a whole network, furthermore the felt that it wasnt them to blame but my brother, and my um too. they were rough with her, but she realized its not them, but him who had the problem, so she took him for detox and after a chat with center manager she decided to leave him there and chek him in...
it all happend so fast, all in one day, it was so much to take in. so much to deal with so i cryed.
i dont know why, but it did make me feel better.